One highlight of our times of collaboration was a visit to SIM International, where we saw the archives of the mission and heard some of the history.  I loved hearing about the missionary saints who have gone before!  Although Asian Access is their first partnership, SIM has merged with numerous other missions over the years.  But it was first started in 1893 by three men who could not find an established mission to sanction their desire to take the gospel to the country now known as Nigeria.  While in the archives room, we saw twenty-six year old Walter Gowan’s original journal from that first year, written for his mother back in Canada, which was also the last year of his life.

Here are some of the excerpts that caught my attention:

“‘He restoreth my soul.’ Hallelujah!  I know what that means; how often when I have been so cast down and the evening has come in like a flood the Spirit of the Lord has raised up a standard…Written in view of my approaching end which has often lately seemed so near but just now seems almost imminent, and I want to write while I have the power to do it.

…Well, glory to God.  He has enabled me to make a hard fight for the Soudan and although it may seem like a total failure and defeat is it not- we shall have the victory and that right speedily.  I have no regret for undertaking this venture and in this manner my life has not been thrown away…

Don’t mourn for me dearest mother if the suffering was great;  remember it is all over now and think of the glory I am enjoying and rejoice that ‘your boy’ was permitted to have a hand in the redemption of the Soudan…”

Separated from his coworkers, Walter was desperately sick with malaria, captured by an Emir raiding for slaves, and starving.  After being released, he tried to return to the coast, but he died alone in a town called Girku.

Thomas Kent also died during that first year.  Rowland Bingham, still very ill, returned to Canada and took Walter’s mom the few belongings left from her son.  Mrs. Gown said, “Well, Mr. Bingham, I would rather have had Walter go out to the Sudan and die there, all alone, than have him home today, disobeying his Lord.”

Hard words!  But a mom who knows what is ultimately important.  And through her son and two others, a mission that has played a strategic part in reaching Africa, and is now reaching across the world, was born.

I have read and re-read this page, and thought how thankful I am to be “permitted to have a hand in the redemption” of…  Japan.  The crowd of witnesses (Hebrews 12:1) that surround us encourages me so much to press on with the light pressures and perplexities that we experience, knowing that our obedience to Jesus is worth it all.

It made me happy, but I thought –I’m completely fine – having a good day, got a lot accomplished…

Then the email came.  And another one shortly after that.  Both unrelated, but  concerning our move up north in two months.  Both very discouraging and disheartening. One evoked anger; the other fear.   Eric came home from teaching a class, and we were trying to process both things in the kitchen and over a late dinner while having a family movie night. We both came to the same conclusion:  We have to pray!

While trying to enter into the Ponyo movie (it is really delightful!), my mind kept whirling with so many thoughts.  I went back to re-read one of the emails (really not a good idea!)and my eye caught the devotional that had just come into my Inbox from my favorite, Charles Spurgeon.  I knew I had to read it.  The title verse caught my attention.  It is on one of the miracles of Elisha, in which God caused an axehead to rise to the top of the water in response to the faith of this one man.

“The iron did swim.”
2 Kings 6:6

The axe-head seemed hopelessly lost, and as it was borrowed, the honour of the prophetic band was likely to be imperilled, and so the name of their God to be compromised. Contrary to all expectation, the iron was made to mount from the depth of the stream and to swim; for things impossible with man are possible with God…

Beloved reader, what is thy desperate case? What heavy matter hast thou in hand this evening? Bring it hither. The God of the prophets lives, and lives to help his saints. He will not suffer thee to lack any good thing. Believe thou in the Lord of hosts! Approach him pleading the name of Jesus, and the iron shall swim; thou too shalt see the finger of God working marvels for his people. According to thy faith be it unto thee, and yet again the iron shall swim.

My heart is so encouraged again to remember Who I am following.  It is the same God of the prophets, who “lives to help his saints.”  Earlier this week as I set aside some time to focus on praying and fasting about a home in Ishinomaki, I was convicted of my praying to try and convince God of what I thought we needed (a house NOW!).   I realized that I was trying to control God – how absurd!  He does not need my opinion on timing or what our children need.  As it says above – “He will not suffer thee to lack any good thing.”  As I prayed and surrendered again my will to Him, He brought tremendous peace and freedom to trust Him.

This week — tonight! —  I really don’t know what God is doing, but I believe in a God who can make axes to swim; who works contrary to all expectations;  who has over and over again proved himself true.  I can’t wait to see how He answers.

Yesterday I got the second-worst call you never want to get from your child’s school (the first is lice)- Annie had just vomited on her desk and could I come and get her? Poor thing, and poor teacher, who had to clean it up (no janitors in Japanese schools to do it for them!). She was much better by last night, and despite not being too excited about it went back to school today.

Besides the wonderful weather in Hawaii, one of the things that we wanted to extend was the Grumpy Coupon game that we played (thanks to Family Fun magazine for the idea!). Before leaving, I made twelve Grumpy Coupons – two for each of our family members. During the trip, we were each given two opportunities to use them — times when we were “allowed” to be grumpy. The kids of course wanted to know what would happen if we needed more than two – I said let’s hope that didn’t happen!

What was great about these coupons wasn’t the coupons themselves but the idea of them… whenever one of us would get a little edgy, someone was sure to quickly say, “Hey Mommy, are you going to use your grumpy coupon now?” Check. Oops. “Owen – I guess you need to use your coupon!” Ooh – pull it together so you don’t need to use it!  Overall, the kids did great in transit – even Ian, who loved pulling his own suitcase.

On our return, after a ten hour flight while we were tiredly trudging through the Seoul Airport to our connecting flight, we took an inventory: Mommy and Daddy had used theirs once (!?); Ian had used more than his share; but the other three had never needed to use theirs! They decided that there should be some reward for not using them. Hmm. We can arrange that.
This was a simple idea worth its weight in gold in traveling with four kids. Here is a picture from our time away when it was helpful- Olivia wasn’t into getting her picture taken and her face made that clear… Until she was asked if she wanted to use that coupon…

It is too bad that we didnt have those coupons a few weeks before… While Eric was gone up north in early December, I took the kids to a studio to have their photos taken in kimonos (I posted one of the group photos previously). In Japan, children often do this at ages 7, 5, and 3, and many go to visit shrines as well around the date of November 15th. We have never had our children photographed in kimonos, and given that they are Japanese I really wanted to do it at some point. So, as a surprise Christmas present for Eric, I made an appointment and had the four dressed (in Japan that includes doing their hair – yes, those are extensions on the girls! – a touch of make up, and full kimono dressing-up) and photographed.
I told Eric on Christmas when we gave him the photos that it was absolutely a gift of love – Ian hated the whole experience, and I am not sure if the studio staff were ever the same after our three hours in there!  Our wonderful friends the Itos came to help;  even still Ian had four different individual sessions until we finally got ONE photo with a semi-smile (below).   In reality, no amount of grumpy coupons would have helped any of us on that day! But we love the photos and just a quick look keeps this mom from being grumpy better than any coupon can.

Over the past two days we had a chance to get together twice (and then a chance encounter at Costco to boot!) with our friend Dr. Sharon.  She lives here in Kauai. She had been Asian Access staff before I was – for many years I had heard about her and seen her picture but we had never met.

 Here is part of an email that she sent to us today:

Spent time this morning thanking God for you and your family and the incredible way that the Lord has allowed us to partner.  For years, I had been hearing your name from Teri, Alene, Mary Jo, etc.   Always with the same incredulous exclamation, “What???  You don’t know [each other]?”

We had the privilege of starting 2012 by sharing about God’s work in Japan.  We spoke this morning at West Oahu Christian Church.  I was pretty emotional. We showed the congregation the Healing Hands video made about Ishinomaki – we hadn’t seen it for a long time.   The reality of the situation in Tohoku  hit both of us hard again.  And with the new year starting, our upcoming March move feels pretty imminent.

I shared a verse that  Eric’s mom shared with us last night.  She had read it yesterday morning and felt like the Lord wanted it for us.  It is Deuteronomy 11:12 – “It is a land the LORD your God cares for; the eyes of the LORD your God are continually on it from the beginning of the year to its end.“

This verse is so beautiful;  how good it is to be reminded of God’s continued care for Tohoku, for the people of Ishinomaki, for our family.  That from the beginning of each year through its end, God does not cease to show His love.  What a wonderful reminder for January first.

Our first day of travel to get here was crazy — reminding us of our humanity!  As we were loading our luggage onto the luggage belt at Kansai airport, we realized that one of our backpacks wasn’t there – the one with my computer in it.  Ouch.  We were getting to get the battery replaced in Hawaii, and I was hoping to make several photo albums for some Sanda friends.  Bummer.  While we were waiting for our boarding passes to get printed, I checked all of our flight schedules in my notebook.  And it dawned on me that I had bought our tickets for our three-day trip to the island of Kauai over new years to Kona (the Big Island) instead of Lihue (Kauai).  I felt sick.

We went through immigration, and as the officer was checking all of our passports, she stopped at Olivia’s, and pointed to the expiration date.  It had expired last MAY!  Our mission requires us to check all of our documentation twice a year and send the dates in to the office.  We still don’t know how this got by us and them, except that Olivia (and two of her siblings so far) have two passports – a US and Japanese one.  At any rate, we were moved over to a special office, and after ten minutes of discussion were allowed to pass through (in reality, because she had one passport that was not expired, we were ok.  But it was still unnerving!).  To top things off, I realized that we had never sent in our official mission travel form for our trip to Hawaii.  Strike four.

The day after we arrived, I was able to change our island tickets for a fairly minimal cost.  We are fine without the backpack and computer.  We can get Olivia’s passport renewed when we get back home.  I sent an apology in for the travel form.   But I just felt so deflated – exhausted –almost numb.  The past month feels like a blur of many special “lasts” in Sanda, milking the season with lots of people over, special events for friends and our family, lots of occasions where we had to prepare and be “on.”  I got on the plane and just wanted to collapse (which doesn’t really happen when you are flying with four kids aged two to nine).

Two days here and I feel my tanks being restored.  Tonight is Christmas eve, and we have been very blessed and taken care of by Eric’s family.  And in a strange way it’s been good to be reminded of our humanity.  Today we received a digital Christmas letter from our friends Jay and Elisha Case.  It was just what my heart needed.  I quote the last paragraph:

It seems to me that a fuller understanding of Christmas gift-giving would lead us to see that God has given each of us talents, resources, and opportunities that we are to share, enjoy, and use for His purposes.  However, we should also recognize that each of us is beset by flaws, sins and limitations, some of which run much more deeply than escapades with air conditioners and trenchers.  We are not able to make everything right by our own power.  But, as I understand the Christian faith, God has given us the gift of Jesus Christ, so that we might be able to accept the grace that we all so desperately need.  May we all be willing to open ourselves up to that grace this Christmas.

Our flaws and sins and limitations have come out this week in me through lots of forgottenness  and mistakes….  There are gonna’ be days like this.  How desperately I need the grace of Christmas;  the grace of Jesus this Christmas.  I’m happy to receive it all.

And my greatest present this Christmas is a reminder of the amazing family God has given us.  These four children are probably part (a lot?) of the reason I am more tired and forgetful, but they are the greatest daily displays of God’s grace that Eric and I have in our lives.

Grace upon grace upon grace.  Merry Christmas.

The verse for this day is Proverbs 16:33:  ”The lot is cast into the lat, but the whole disposing thereof is of the Lord.”  The Amplified version says, “Even the events that seem accidental are really ordered by Him.”  Spurgeon writes, “If the disposal of the lot is the Lord’s whose is the arrangement of our whole life?  If the simple casting of a lot is guided by Him, how much more the events of our entire life…?“

The Lord proved himself two years ago through some amazing circumstances that only He could do.  Baby Ian did come back to us and is now one of the four joys of our lives.  I read this now and once again am amazed.

Two years later, it is good to be reminded of these profound truths again.  We do not have any compelling housing options in Ishinomaki at this time.  There are times when I start to doubt and to fear.  I am reminded in this reading to “Come and survey my Father’s storehouse…”  It is rich and full of abundance;  over and over He has proven himself to us and he will not doubt do it again.  A wonderful reminder for all of us: even the events that seem accidental are ordered by Him.

This year both Owen and Annie were competing, of course;  Annie for the first time.  Last night she showed a lot of anxiety about the whole thing… nervous that there would be a lot of people watching her.  (“It’s different than dance because I’ve done that a lot.  This is my FIRST time to RUN in front of people!”)  And then there was the parental embarrassment factor (“I know what you’re going to do, Mom.  You’re going to yell my name REAL loud as I run by and then when I finish you’re going to come over and say you’re SO proud of me and it’s going to be REALLY embarrassing!”)  I promised to keep it minimal as long as she did her best.  (“But if you don’t do your best I’m going to cheer louder than ever!”)

What we loved was watching both of our kids really really do their best.  In the practice sessions, Annie had come in about twenty out of sixty-some kids.  Today, as the parents waited, cameras poised, by the front of the school for the kids to return from the neighborhood streets where they were running, we watched some of the fast boys come in.  And then!  Annie – our daughter with asthma!  She was the first girl!  She came in #15!  I bit my tongue.  I tried REALLY hard.  But the trying was as much to not cry as to not scream.  She really did her best.

After the second graders ran, and we cheered for some of the children we know (I tried not to be too loud!), it was Owen’s class.  In his previous practices he has ranked about tenth among the sixty-some.  Eric told him last night to really focus, and to see if he could come in #7.  It was fun to see him round the last bend coming up to the school. Thankfully he seems to enjoy our cheering, so I let it rip!

He, too, ran with his whole heart – and came in seventh for the first time, with his fastest score to date.  We were very proud and thankful parents.

When Olivia got home from kindergarten/youchien, I was in the middle of our ladies’ English class Christmas party.  But she reminded Eric of his promise to take off her training wheels.  Yesterday at the toy store she borrowed one of the low two-wheel display bikes and found herself able to ride it!  Tonight before dinner I went to the park with her and witnessed with my own eyes her new abilities.

Growing up without a lot of athletic-abiity DNA, it has been fun to watch our children explore their abilities and find areas in this arena that they can work on excelling.  And SO much fun to see them develop into the neat kids God has created them to be – whatever place they come in, as long as they do their best. (And Mom doesn’t embarrass them too much).

Yesterday’s verse for Owen was from Romans:   “Lord, give Owen hope and encouragement in all things that would please you.   Teach Owen to wait patiently for your promises to be fulfilled.”   Romans 15:4

I was trying to teach him what it means to wait for God’s promises to be fulfilled.  I reminded him of God’s promise to me four and a half years ago that he would provide a bigger home for us.  I told him that God hasn’t fulfilled it yet, but we still are waiting for God to fulfill it (sometimes patiently, sometimes not so!).  Then Owen said, “Mom- don’t you think it’s a good thing that God hasn’t fulfilled it yet?  Because he wants us to move to Ishinomaki.  He was waiting because he knew the tsunami was going to come and we were going to move up there to help out.  We didn’t know, but He knew.  So he was making you wait a long time.  He wants to give us a bigger house in Ishinomaki!”

His words made me cry.  We have been worried about him recently because we know it will be especially hard for him, our child who hates transitions,  to move.  But to hear him share with me words of  Truth, words of perspective, words of hope – it touched my heart.  So far the possible tsunami homes in Ishinomaki have not seemed like good options.  We have been praying.  It is possible God will guide us to a home that is not bigger for this next stage of our lives, and then we will wait longer. But we trust in God;  we trust in his timing and care for our lives.  Sometimes it takes a child to remind me.